Wednesday, November 03, 2004
hhmmm....

hehhe..for the past few dayz i was too lazy to create an entry....hey! i cant juz do it everyday....i've got thingz to do....uugghh...speakin of thingz...i hav a lot of work comin up....i need to focus i hav presentations and projects comin up...so i hav to concentrate first....do what's got to be done.....hhhmm...and i need lots of lots of rest...nneed to relax and sleep....im missin sleep now...after this go straight to bed. there's nuttin much i cud say koz nuttin exciting is going on so far.....i gotta be more smart and watch for it....mayb there is, i just dont see it...hehhe im enjoyin[so far] my life....smilin at everyone...and laughin again...im glad i came bak to normal...but things aren't..i just go with the flow....and waiting for wats happen next, maybe sumthin gud....hey! im not livin in the past i gotta live now in the presents koz future is waiting for me....and i gotta change bad things the way they were...and lastly, i never 4got to thank God koz he always make my day...even though it may be raining...or im in blue...he gave me ppl who cares and help me to stand up again! =) while i was surfing the net i found this.....

It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey to my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.

Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
 
                                                --Tagore


S C H E D U L E S:

  • Nov. 04 -Test in chem{need to study hard}
  • Nov. 06 -Liza's bday
  • Nov. 08 -Halfday in school & Janize's bday
  • Nov. 09 -Test in Media Art
  • Nov. 12 -Presentation on Baptist Church{religion}
  • ...more comin up soon



Posted at 02:10 pm by unsp0k3n
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Saturday, October 30, 2004
Live yur life to da fullest and yur love ones make it worh living

juz woke up...and havn't eaten a thing....i've decided to create another entry koz i havn't for like 2 days...so here i am thinkin* hhhmm...thinkin of wat?!! i dunno ma mind is blank...i think i 4got to switch it on....so it's off....i guess?!? but anyhoez,  i hafta work 2day....uuugghh from 1 to 6 pm... im gonna be soo tired again....=S  i need ma rest for one day....i wud call ma boss and tell her i cudn't make it....but then hhmm...i only got to work every sat. soo i get paid so lil....and i need money....so i'll juz work hard and stop bein a lazy ass in ma bed.....its kinda cold outside yesterday..and i was only wearin small jean jacket...w/c hood sooo ma hair was kinda messed up...and dry koz of the rain...i juz hate it wen its raining...uugghh!!! never like that weather..but anyhoez, i went to sq yesterday with ma lil boo...fellainiee...hhaha or "ina"[daz wat they call her], lora and zhiv....diz guyz r cool to chill with..hahha i got there...and c ma old frend...never seen her for like wen was that....3 months ago..i htink...well anywayz....she used to go to ma old school...but then she changed...she is sweet, nice, and down to earth....she wud help  me on anything..she's like a big sis. 4 me and we saw each other......i also saw some ppl in term. and i met some of 'em....*sigh Life sux 4 me!!!  well, at least daz wat i think....imma bounce 4 now...still need to prepare maself to work. i juz need to BREATHE, STRETCH, SHAKE and LET IT GO!!! hahaah...ill juz try to laugh at ma problems again.


Qoute of the day:
"I`m loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty."

Posted at 07:42 am by unsp0k3n
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
...smile once again

juz got home from school...did ma literacy test....i only hafta do the reading part...so its not that hard...i finished early koz the 2nd booklet there wasn't reading....so they let us out early...i took da bus wif ppl and got off alone....walked alone...and waited for the bus alone....i looked at the cars passing by, the clouds setting apart from each other and listened to ma MD...still need to dl new fresh hot songs....but first i still hafta ask this jerk guy to giv it bak 2 me....its been 2 months he still hasn't given it bak 2 me.....nweyz, i waited and waited until the bus came.....it took long to comes...but i still waited patiently....koz there's nuttin fo me to do but WAIT....got home and went straight to ma room....reminiscenced the past....*MEMORIES some says get over w.e it is...but its juz hard! now im still listening to some songz....i juz luv music....can't live without it! i dunno y....it juz makes me feel like im floating on those words they're singing! LIFE IMITATES MUSIC!  hhmm....does it?! hehehe....composing a melodic lyrics will require yur knowledge, yur emotional feelingz and yur inspiration in life....can't juz compose some dull lyrics....giv it a life! there's different types of lyrics...it depends on the author wat they thought and felt on something.....sumtymz sumthin gave them an inspiration to write...daz y their famous of wat they did...they did an awsome job! they juz played with words mix with their feelings in their heads......it is also another way to let out wat they had inside....they want ppl to know wat they felt or thought bout sumthin.....yup...daz wat they do for livin' isn't dat great?!!?! some composer get paid more than other jobs....hhmm i dunno it depends...i gotta look it up! hehehe im not too smart about it....nweyz, bak to reality, still thinkin....it seems all the memories are playin around in ma head.....its kinda hard koz it'll giv yu headache...so sumtymz we need a rest....hhehehe mayb i shud need one right now..and stop for  moment and juz relaxxxxx.....RELAXX!!! RELAX yur body&mind

 Note 2 ma self* dunt be stressin too much...gotta giv it a break....both mind & heart....gotta pause for a moment...and try to focus on somethin new!!!!



Quote of the day:
"Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile; So whenever you’re lonely remember this is true- someone, somewhere is thinking of you." {unknown}

Posted at 09:47 am by unsp0k3n
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
...through the ra1n

"When you get caught in the rain, with nowhere to run
When you're distraught and in pain, without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is 

    ......
I can make it throught the Ra1n"

keep singing that in my head...but deep inside im still hurt.....i've been torn into pieces.....i need sum1 spec1al to put me back into whole! i juz feel shit right now....like i wanna die or sumthin.....fuck diz life....they said....everyone makes mistakes and its a human natur3 to have one....they also says that live yur life to the fullest and experience it....so that in the future yu now wat to do koz yu've experienced it already..yu dunt hav to do the same thing....yu gotta correct yurself...learn from it....alwayz learn....use yur knowledge! if yu fall once....yu gotta try to get up...and not do it again!

Look wat i found......


T -You have an attitude, a big one.
R -You are a social butterfly.
I  -You are always smiling & making others smile.
S  -You are very broad-minded.
H  -You are not judgemental.
A  -You can be very quiet when you have
something on your mind.


Things I`ve Learned

*I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

*I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

*I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

*I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

*I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to tbe best others can do but to the best you can do.  

*I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

*I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

*I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

*I've learned tbat we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

*I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

*I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

*I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

*I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

*I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

*I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

*I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

*I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

*I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself

*I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

*I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

*I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

*I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

*I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

*I've learned that no matter what the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

*I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people wbo don't even know you.

*I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find tbe strength to help.

*I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.

*I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.


Posted at 06:28 pm by unsp0k3n
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Monday, October 25, 2004
sooo cold, wet...and tired =S




im soo tired =S i wont say nuttin much for wat happened today koz more hwkz waiting 4 me i still havn't started  the english one....i didnt finish the book so i got nuttin to put! *sigh soo much shyt happened to me 2day......but still i gotta b stronger i know im better than this en i can make it through.....tenx to ma frenz they've been there, supported and care....never let me down! tenx fo ppl who gave me their shoulders and wiped ma tearz dripping down on ma face.....tenx for the ppl gave their time to listen and never left me alon3....watever happened....happened in the past...yu can never change it nor do somethin wif it...gotta move on...still hav ma life to live on...still hav famz, frendz who care!!! another worst day came by and ruined the cngle part of me....tore me in2 pieces....! but i get stronger en stonger! thx to almighty God...he never left me...he'z alwayz with me....like a footprints on the beach! he gave me strentghts...he let me learned how to live up ma life....and never will LOOSE H0p3



 luv 3sha </3




Posted at 08:10 pm by unsp0k3n
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Sunday, October 24, 2004
Life is a prison, if your in love alone

so fucckiinng tired of the same thing i get every cngle day!!!! imm soo stress out everytime i think of it! i dunno....i cant do anything bout it....cant change the past...all i can do is live on and move on, learned from it i still FCUK IT!!!!i juz gotta face the fact! accept it! koz there'z nuttin else i can do...*sigh the day hasn't finished yet....and still im starting to stress much than the other day...i juz hope that one day i wake up from this nightmare...for now i juz wanna chill wif ma frendz...so i can get away from it for the meantime

      
"takerisks,makemistakes,andthenlearnfromthem.
There
isnosuchthingsasfailure;
youonlyfallwenyufallandyuduntgetbak up"

I shall go the way of the open sea,
To the lands I knew before you came,
And the cool ocean breezes shall blow from me
The memory of your name





"If you love something, set it free, If it comes back to you, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was." "Just because you love someone it doesn't mean that he or she is the one for you."






<GoalzinLife>

[+] Find a New Decent Guy   *new inspitration
[+] Pass all the failing course
[+] help mom&dad
[+] put back the sweet smile on ma face
[+] earn money fo up coming xmas
[+] Find a college course that'll suit me
[+] Move On...Face The Future
[+] Focus on school works...*i hope*
[+] Help people
   ....more to come







Posted at 10:52 am by unsp0k3n
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
no matter how i tried i cant eras3 yu from ma mind


[thoughtz&feelingz]
another day comes by...and im still in pain....suffering in this pain im goin through alone....still dying inside everyday i wake up in the morning...feel like there's a big puffy gray clouds over me everywhere i go....cant stop thinkin about yu...werever i go i always brought yu with me! i tried to move on but yur not gone koz in ma heart yu still live on....im still regretting fo ma stupidity! everytime i think of the past i alwayz wishing that i cud change errthang...take a look bak but it happened for a reason.......i juz let yu passed by me =Si wish yu'd know how ma feelings for yu...its more than wat yu thought.....Evry time I fall in luv, I fall 4 sum1 nu, but I still alwayz find myself falling in luv wid u! ever since i met yu i already felt something beautiful inside but then errthang change and still ma feelings are holding on to yu!

[9:05; saturday]
soo tired from work.....need to rest but cant everytime i go to bed i think of something i cud never have......i think of something in life that i shud hav done in the past so that im not regretting it! ma co-workers asked meeh wat was wrong wif me today?!?!?! wat was wrong with me?!?! i dunno i asked that to ma self i cant answer it! mayb koz of wat happenin to ma life

                           

     "....wenwilliitbeme....somebody'sdreaminof?!?!"



Posted at 06:09 pm by unsp0k3n
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Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full of acceptance even celebration of another's personhood.
.....Writing, as well as talking about it....can ease yur pain....express yurself!

Linx:
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Ø Jedzee
Ø Fellaine

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